There is no good bye.

Wow I love it when life teaches me a lesson with a personal experience.  This weekend I had one of those lessons taught to me in a big way.  As my friends can attest to I am always encouraging them when they have an issue or a problem with a friend, co-worker, boss, partner or lover to tell them how they feel.  Sometimes its okay to try and work things out in your own mind, but when you start to obsess, lose sleep and build up resentment it is time to say something.  Then you need to say it in a way that is only how you FEEL about it and not turn it into a personal attack on the other person.  You also cannot be attached to the response or outcome (which may not be what you hope for or want), but I can guarantee you that if you say it with the best intention with no expectation you will feel better!  I am usually pretty good at this, but sometimes it is hardest with the people closest to us as I found out. It started when I decided in my mind that I needed to cut someone out of my life. Yes I had been obsessing, losing sleep and building up resentment because I had not shared how I really felt with this person, I had expectations from them and I was attached to the outcome!!  Imagine that!! LOL Needless to say I experienced a significant amount of pain around this situation. Fortunately I have some very wise people in my life and a very good friend reminded me of a core principle of many eastern philosophies – “non attachment”. “Can you not just enjoy the relationship/friendship with this person for what it is Tracy?  Without being attached to the outcome?”  Thank you my friend! Yes, yes I can do that (although it took 24 hours to come to that realization!!).

I always say everyone comes into your life for a reason.  Sometimes for you to learn something from them and other times for them to learn something from you.  Often we choose to cut these people out of our lives before both of us have learned what we need to learn.  Its okay to grow apart and follow different paths, but why do we need to say goodbye?  Can we not always keep the door open? It reinforces to me how important it is to tell the people in your life how you really feel about them so that you are always doing your part to keep that closeness, if they chose based on their own circumstances to not return the effort at this time, it doesn’t mean they won’t at some point in the future. In talking to a friend today about a relationship issue, I said to her “always ask yourself does this serve me right now? If it does then embrace it and run with it, if it doesn’t then walk away.”  It doesn’t mean you are making a forever decision,  none of us know what the future holds.  It just means that if you make each decision based on what you need at the time that serves your highest self it can never be wrong.  It will also ensure that you have the right people in your life at the right time. Today I have decided, at least for me anyway. . . . .there is no goodbye.