Grief

Grieving isn’t an easy or enjoyable process for any of us, but it is necessary.  I have been tested by this again recently.  Grief comes in many degrees, the death of a loved one close to you, or a long lost friend.  It can also be experienced by the end of a marriage, a friendship or a career.  Whenever something ends it brings up the feelings of grief deep within us. This is not a comfortable thing, but if we suppress it and don’t deal with it, it will only keep us in this sadness longer.  That is why it is so necessary to grieve in the best way we possibly can.  For me it is first of all to allow it to hurt and to feel the pain.  If you are physically injured or sick you have no choice but to deal with the pain, but emotional pain can be pushed aside by our thoughts, our actions and or drugs of choice. Forget all this and just feel it, let it hurt, cry, feel miserable.  The second step for me is to talk about it, talk to someone close to you (or a professional) and explain how it feels what you’re struggling with, if you have any regrets, talk about the person or event and what it meant to you, etc.  All of this helps to clear out those thoughts and put them into words and words have far less power over us than our thoughts do. The third thing I do is journal, I write down how I feel about the situation, the things I remember about the person or event, the things I loved about them, all of this helps to create a positive feeling inside of me. Now comes the hard part (at least for me), letting it go.  Know that everything happens for a reason, know that we can’t control life and that ultimately this is the course of our life and we must accept it as it is.  As I write this I think, well that’s not so difficult, and in theory it isn’t.  But when you are in the depths of despair it definitely is not easy and you feel like the darkness in your heart will never go away.  Be assured you can find your way back to the light, you already have it in your heart it is always there, it is LOVE. If you are able to properly grieve (in whatever way works best for you) you will come out of it with an even greater feeling of love in your heart, this is where you will find peace.