Acceptance.

I have often said that one of the biggest causes of suffering of our human condition is the struggle between being your authentic self and being the person you feel society, your family and friends expect you to be.  This past weekend I had the opportunity to share my personal experience around learning this tough lesson.  First of all let me say that the only possible way out of this struggle is to always be your authentic self.  However it has taken this people pleasing, insecure, wanting to be liked girl a lot of work to get there. For me I found the answers in two places. First of all in loving and accepting myself for who I am and what I bring to the table.  One of the hardest things for me to accept about myself was that I am not happy living a superficial life.  I used to admire people who could go to work and just do their job and not get involved in the politics or always have to voice their opinions.  I would look at women who were quite happy doing domestic chores and doting on their husbands and think “why can’t I be like that?” But as I have found out I am not those people, I am me. I am the one, who always has something to say about everything, who will stand up for the underdog when no one else will, who wants to push myself and others to grow,  and who has a new idea every week of where I want to take my passions and dreams. For a long time I felt like I wasn’t being grateful if I always wanted/needed more. Now I know that that is just who I am J.  I have figured out how to channel that energy into productive meaningful activities that “feed my soul” and I still remain grateful every day for all of the wonderful things in my life. The second part for me was in learning to accept others for who they are and allowing them to find their own answers without trying to give them mine. Most of this I learned through my own self development (and maybe a few reminders from my beautiful smart daughter).  I found that when I figured out the answers for myself instead of letting others give them to me, there was a profound difference in my reaction and action to those answers, and the resulting change in my self and my behaviours.  I was also fortunate enough to witness my friends have wonderful “epiphanies” when I just listened, questioned and supported and let them figure it out for themselves, and then saw the resulting difference it made in their lives. The reality is we are all on our own path and it doesn’t matter what is right for someone else or what society says is the norm, all that truly matters is how important it is to us, if it fulfils us and allows us to be our authentic selves.  At the end of the day if we all learn these two principles and put them into action in our lives then all paths will and should lead to the same place . . . LOVE.