Breath. . . .Breathe your way.

For anyone who has ever done yoga or meditation you will be familiar with the words “follow your breath”, “pay attention to your breath”, “watch your breath”.  Having done yoga and meditation for a number of years, I am very familiar with this concept, but have to admit that until recently I didn’t fully understand why it is so important.  I often had difficulty “watching” my breath in meditation, preferring instead to watch my thoughts (mindfulness) or recite a mantra (concentration), but on my quest for finding and living my authentic self, I had a light bulb moment.  I often talk about the duality of the human condition, our ego/mind and our authentic self/soul.  One morning during meditation it struck me how we use our mind to try and control our breathing (mostly unconscious based on our thoughts), we shorten it, hold it, release it, deepen it, lengthen it. . .  but our "mind" cannot stop or start it.  Breath comes from your soul, it stops and starts and breathes regardless of what “thoughts” are in your mind, and following it leads directly to your authentic self.  Okay many of you may have already figured this out; it just took me a little longer! It’s always interesting to me how we can hear, study and read the great teachings that have been sent down to us, but we only “get it” when we are ready to fully integrate it into our lives. I wanted to share this story with the hope that it may help someone have their own “light bulb” moment and also to confirm that we need to stay the course of our learning and growing as we never know when we may get that one tidbit that makes all the difference. Today I am much more aware of my breath, both during mediation and through out the day.  By following it, watching it and paying attention to it I am able to seek the comfort and wisdom of my authentic self again and again!

Spiritual or Religious.

What does spirituality mean to you? Do you consider yourself a spiritual or religious person? Is it important to believe in something?  Having been raised in a traditional religious environment, I never fully understood what the difference between spirituality and religious really was until I was much older.  And while religion did not resonate with me, spirituality definitely did.  So what makes some people follow the religious path and others the spiritual path?  I believe part of it has to do with your basic personality and whether or not you tend to look for answers within or without. As I have talked about many times my way is to look within and I believe that is at the core of “spirituality”.  For those that look outside themselves, to a person/philosophy/belief etc for their answers I believe to be “religious”.  Both of these serve a purpose and are necessary for growth and enlightenment in the world.  In the end everyone is on their own path in this life and needs to follow what works for them.  I always remember the Dalai Lama saying that he first thought that Buddhism was the only way people could reach enlightenment, but now he understands that there are many different paths one can take.  I totally agree! When we have an experience in our lives, either religious or spiritual that brings us so much joy and happiness, we want to share it with everyone.  Sometimes our pesky ego gets a little too involved in this process and we try to “convince” others that our way should be their way.  I will admit to being guilty of this myself in the past, but have come to realize that the best way I can inspire others is by sharing and living my story.  I believe that it is very important to have a belief in something greater than yourself and that your life and the lives of others will be enriched by this.  But all of this needs to come in its own time and in its own way.  Many times we have to experience a complete separation from the Divine in order to come back to it and fully realize it.  I know for me it has been a journey, one step at a time.  I sometimes think why couldn’t I have fully understand that a few years ago, but the reality is I was not ready (I don’t always have a lot of patience!).  When you are ready to “get it” it will feel like the most natural thing and the piece will fit nicely into your puzzle. Eventually all of the pieces fit together and create the most beautiful picture of your life. This unique picture is what you share with the world and is your destiny. It is what makes the world a better place, it is the difference you make by having lived in it.

Follow your own way . . . .  to love, compassion and living your destiny!

Feelings . . .your body doesn’t lie.

This past weekend I was feeling very overwhelmed by all of the changes that I have going on in my life.  I was really struggling with the obsessive nature of my thoughts and even meditation wasn’t bringing me much relief. Luckily I remembered a recent conversation I had with a Psychologist where she said “your feelings don’t lie”.  As a self professed “feeler” and pretty in touch with my physical body I decided to try something to find out what was at the heart of my struggle.  I laid down and did some deep breathing until I felt my whole body relax.  I focused on my heart and started asking questions.  Each time I asked a question I paid attention to the reaction in my physical body.  Finally I hit the jackpot!  The real issue made it self known loud and clear; my whole body went tense, I felt like someone had their hands around my throat and I started crying.  I knew then what was at the heart of my suffering.  At first I just allowed this feeling, I felt the pain, I watched how my body responded and I accepted that it was okay to feel this way.  Then I began to turn what was a perceived negative into a positive. I looked at the good that would come from this change and trusted that this is just one more thing that has to unfold for the good of everyone involved. I decided I would have a conversation with the person involved to share my feelings. This process released my pain and I felt able to move forward with strength and resolve.  (I also want to be clear that my "mind" would never have figured this out on its own. In my mind/thoughts I had been denying the real issue saying I was okay with it and I had put my negative feelings onto other aspects which as it turns out had nothing to do with it. Another confirmation for me that our thoughts/ego do not hold the answers, they only lead to further suffering.) 

So many times we become slaves to our emotions, we allow them to control us instead of using them as tools to look deeper and solve our own issues.  This is what I had been discussing last week with this same Psychologist, I just didn't know at the time how real it was going to be for ME.  Again the Universe gave me all of the information I needed to solve my own dilemma, I just needed to pay attention!! Always remember that all of the solutions are inside of you, don’t look outside of yourself, don’t blame, and don’t look for escapes, just pay attention.  Maybe it’s something someone says, or something you read in a book, a meaningful lesson learned from a movie, a personal encounter with someone or maybe just a thought that pops into your mind (a message from your own heart).  Any of these things and many others can offer so many clues to the answers you are seeking.  Awareness of your feelings, acceptance of them and releasing them, all steps on the ladder of personal growth. Let’s grow together!!

The World is My Mirror.

 

All of the people in our lives are mirrors, it is in them that we see all aspects of ourselves, the good, the bad and the ugly.  Being aware and using this information to accept all aspects of our authentic selves without judgement is what brings love and fulfillment into our lives.

"The good you find in others is in you too.

The faults you find in others are your faults as well.

After all to recognize something you must know it.

The beauty you see around you is your beauty.

See the best in others and you will be your best.

Give to others and you give to yourself.

Appreciate beauty and you will be beautiful.

Admire creativity and you will be creative.

Love and you will be loved.

Seek to understand and you will be understood.

Listen and your voice will be heard.

The world around you is a mirror showing YOU the person you are."

 

 

Blame.

Blame - another passionate word for me, I have absolutely no tolerance for blaming. All of our own solutions are inside of us.  We need to stand up, own our own sh**, do what we need to do to fix our own problems.  Often times in my life people have said to me “you are so lucky”, luck has nothing to do with it it’s about choices.  The choices we make everyday determine our happiness, our success and our fulfillment.  Are you willing to give someone else the power over your happiness?  “Absolutely not” should be the only answer.  Okay I have done my own share of blaming over the years, but where did that get me? Nowhere.  Sad, lonely, resentful, unhappy, angry. . . . the list goes on and on. Why? Because I gave up my power.  I allowed someone or something to control my life, emotions and events. The minute I learned to take back my power, stand up for myself, put my needs first and take action, I started to experience the happiness, joy and fulfillment that we all deserve and long for. One thing that works for me is anytime I find myself blaming someone or something, I look inward to what I need to give myself instead of expecting someone or something outside of myself to give it to me.  When I am able to see what it is that I need, I can take the actions necessary to fulfil myself. The side benefit to this is the sense of accomplishment and ownership I feel.  Blaming is just a deflection tactic that our ego (mind) uses to prevent our authentic selves from shining their light.  It never makes us feel good.  It is never real. It will never lead to happiness. So let’s turn that around. . . . no more blaming.  Take responsibility for yourself and your needs.  It will feel good.  It will be real. It will lead to much happiness.