Doesn't get any better than this....my meditation buddy curled up in my lap!
Friday, 30 August 2013
Tuesday, 27 August 2013
I DESERVE.
A few years ago when I was doing reflexology and detox foot
spa treatments I received a call to see if I would come to an elderly ladies
home as she was not very mobile. I
started visiting her once per week to see if the treatments would help with her
mobility. As I got to know her I told her
about Louise Hay and her belief that every physical ailment is rooted in an
emotional block. She was definitely
interested so I looked up her problem in my book and gave her the emotional cause
and affirmation. The next week when I
saw her she told me that while she agreed with the emotional block she was
physically unable to say the affirmation.
The words she was stuck on that would not come out of her mouth were – I
DESERVE. I remember thinking how sad
this was and what must be going on for her that she was not even able to utter
these words.
Years later as I continue on my own journey I have come to
realize that these words are also are very difficult for me to digest. While I am able to intellectually say them,
believe them and act on them, I now know that I do not always “feel” them at
the core of my being. What is it about
our life experience that causes this? At
what age do we create this belief? I suppose it is different for everyone, and
probably a culmination of many things over the years. Many people will go through their whole lives
feeling like they don’t deserve any good in their lives, that they must do for
others what they are incapable of giving themselves and pushing down their own
feelings of lack because they don’t want to confront the pain of looking into
their own heart. If just reading this is bringing up any emotional reaction in
you then you will know that you to are struggling with accepting that you do DESERVE.
You deserve to be happy, you deserve to be content, you deserve to have
abundance and you deserve to be loved.
We all do!
I can tell you from my own experience that looking into your
own heart to find the answers is not that bad. Ironically we spend a lot of
time and energy trying to hide our insecurities but when you confront them they
lose all of their power over you. You
will feel like you have been let out of a prison (a self imposed one) and will
begin living from your authentic self. The
reality is we don’t want to look into our own souls because it is painful, but when we do, what we will
see is the beautiful spirit that we all are. Say these words out loud with me
right now:
“I release all of the past life experiences that have lived in my mind
and put up barriers in my heart to fully accepting and loving myself. I DESERVE all that is good in my life.”
Yes you do!!! This journey has been so fulfilling and enlightening for me
and I want to say thank you to each one of you for sharing it with me . . . you are my inspiration! Lets rock on!
Wednesday, 21 August 2013
Simple Words.
I thought I would share another one of my "poems" with you that felt particularly right today. Hope you enjoy the simplicity of the words and let them into your heart. -(Written May 2, 2008)
Here we are
Where is that?
The light is bright
Open your heart
Hear what I have to say
Join with me
Join us all
Today we are free
Free from suffering
Tomorrow we don't know
Fill your cup
Make it last
Let your spirit out
Settle for nothing
Awareness is the answer
the answer to all questions
Should we keep it secret?
Do great things
Do not be afraid
Peace and gentleness are key
Join, join, join together
Try harder, it will come
Love is all powerful
It will conquer all!
Wishing you all a peace and love filled day!!! xo Tracy
Tuesday, 20 August 2013
The Dark Side.
“I would rather be whole than good” I wrote this in my journal a few
years ago while I was reading the Debbie Ford book “Dark Side of the Light
Chasers”. Since then I have been very
aware of the fact that we all need to accept both the good and bad sides of
ourselves for us to be whole. It seems
the more we try and hide the dark side the worse it becomes. Just like anything
in life, the more we try and fight it the harder it is. Ask anyone who has dieted, worked out or
studied!! So if you keep trying to hide and deny your
shadows you will only see them reappear again and again (and also be mirrored
back to you in others). So how do we change this? The first step is awareness, finding and
acknowledging what we “don’t like about ourselves”, and then shining a light
on it so we can see that it has actually been a positive thing in our lives. For me when I went through this exercise the
first time I could see that I did not like how I was so sceptical (I considered this a negative trait).
But when I took a closer look the reality was that many times this
scepticism had protected me. I was then
able to see this trait as helpful and no longer needed to pretend to be accepting
of everything, that it was okay to question and probe in certain circumstances. I also struggled with being opinionated. When I saw that this was because I am passionate, interested and enthusiastic I learned to love and accept it about
myself. I was then able to share my opinions in a positive way and accept others
views with more understanding. This has
enabled me to create very deep meaningful friendships in my life which are very
valuable to me.
I’m not sure if it is just in my life, but it seems
everywhere I turn these days, Pinterest, Facebook, blogs, TV shows and movies, books,
speakers, TED talks, etc. what everyone is drawn to is authenticity! We want it in our politicians, our leaders,
our clients, our celebrities, and most importantly our friends and people close
to us. I think this is a sign of our changing times. The connections we make with others is what
makes life full, enjoyable and brings us happiness. These connections become so
much more meaningful when we are being our authentic selves and sharing our
beautiful spirit with others. If we want authentic connections in our life we
must first cultivate this trait in ourselves.
To do this we must acknowledge, accept and understand all of the good
and the bad that make up the beautiful spirit that is inside all of
us. Today give some thought to your dark side, shine some light on to it and
see that it is not a monster living in the closet it is part of the beautiful
person that you are. Become whole,
become authentic, become REAL and believe me not only will your own life become
richer but you will grace the lives of others with your spirit. Fall in love with your imperfections!!
Tuesday, 13 August 2013
LOVE
A couple of weeks ago a friend and I were discussing the different types of love and later she sent me some research she had found on the 3 types of love. I’m sure most
people would read it and apply it to the different love relationships they have
or have had in their life, which is obviously why it was written. However, I always say that the most important
relationship you will have in life is the one with yourself. Hence as I was reading it I was thinking
about the love I have for myself. Knowing that we can only love another to the
same degree that we love ourselves, I have to admit that while I feel I love
others “unconditionally” I was having difficulty saying the same about
myself. As I typed a response to my friend’s
message, I had what we call an “AH HA” moment.
“Anytime we are grasping or clinging to another person this can only
come from EROS or physical love (as we are more concerned about our own
heartache than them).” In this moment I realized I needed to let go of the
physical and move directly to AGAPE or unconditional love – FOR MYSELF! In this moment of expanded awareness my life
was changed. I was no longer looking
outside myself for fulfilment or love, I was looking inward. I suddenly could “see”
that all of the drama and hardship I had created was an illusion, I simply
(although it never seems to be simple) needed to LOVE myself for the beautiful
soul that I am and accept myself completely, the good and the bad. I have never felt so happy and content and this has been reflected back to me in my
relationships.
As the Universe always seems to know what we need and when, I started the Oprah & Deepak Chopra 21 Day Meditation Challenge on Miraculous Relationships a week ago and the discussions are directly related to what I am talking about above regarding loving ourselves. Nice to have the confirmation as I continue my journey of Love. I have copied the “3 Types of Love” below (source unknown) and my wish for you is that you will read it and fall in love with yourself.
As the Universe always seems to know what we need and when, I started the Oprah & Deepak Chopra 21 Day Meditation Challenge on Miraculous Relationships a week ago and the discussions are directly related to what I am talking about above regarding loving ourselves. Nice to have the confirmation as I continue my journey of Love. I have copied the “3 Types of Love” below (source unknown) and my wish for you is that you will read it and fall in love with yourself.
The 3 Types of Love
1) Eros love - known as
"erotic love". It is based on strong feelings toward another. It
usually occurs in the first stages of a man-woman "romantic"
relationship.
This love is based more on
physical traits. Say a person says he has "fallen in love" for a
woman, because "she looked like an angel". Or a woman "falls in
love" for a guy because he is intelligent, has good breeding, etc.
The weakness with this type
of love is obvious. It is based more on "self-benefit", of what can
benefit you rather than the other person. This is "I love you because it
feels good, and makes ME happy loving you." See? The keyword is the word
"ME".
When that person doesn't
"feel happy" anymore in loving that person, she/he is led to believe
that she/he has "fallen out of love". Actually, there was never
"true love" in the first place. The fact is, love by feelings alone
cannot be called "true love" simply because they do not know each
other that much yet.
Two people feel this strong
emotional attraction towards one another, though they barely really know about
each other's personalities. A person usually puts her/his best foot forward,
showing only her/his good side. In order to be sure if "true love"
exists, two people must know and accept each others' good and bad traits.
Furthermore, they must have
gone through a lot of time with each other, going through BOTH joys and
sorrows, pains and pleasures, and still end up together. A lot of sacrifice
towards each other is therefore essential.
It is love that is untested
by hardships, and therefore may or may not last in the long-term. It may or may
not develop into a higher form of love - philos love. Eros love can only
succeed in the long-term if it progresses into a higher form of love. Otherwise,
it will not last.
The romantic feeling common
in "eros love" is natural, and an important part of a relationship
between a man and a woman. Romance also plays a role in strengthening the
bonds, especially at the start of a relationship. This is part of God's plan.
What we need to be careful
of is assuming a relationship must be "real love" just because it is
romantic, because all we feel is happiness. As with most anything in life, we
must learn to use both our heart and mind to judge if something is real.
Be careful also of being in
love with the "concept of love" itself, rather than for who the
person is. TV. movies, media has "romanticized" so much, it is often
hard to see reality from fiction.
You must love a person for
her/his uniqueness, not because you simply want to feel the joy of "being
in love." Such a love is concerned more with the "self" rather
than the partner.
Over-relying on pure emotion
without the balance of logic is a recipe for failure.
2) Philos love - a love
based on friendship between two people.
It is true that two lovers
that start out by being friends first before becoming partners usually are the
relationships that last more, long-term.
Friendship is the foundation
of a successful relationship. This is true whether it is marriage, or
boyfriend-girlfriend, relationship betweeen family members, relationship with
co-workers, employer, etc.
In the case of a man-woman
romantic relationship, the advantage is you get to know each other first,
before committing to a more serious relationship above friendship.
You start out as friends,
then admire each other, then possibly strong emotions can suddenly appear over
time and you both realize you miss each other more. It takes time, and is patient
(love is patient, love is kind!).
This is in contrast to a
man-woman romantic relationship which starts out by "eros love",
meaning you get attracted by physical/mental traits alone. Strong emotions
start almost immediately (some would even say "love at first sight"),
though you do not even know each other that much.
With eros love, you see only
each other's strengths/good side, everything is rosy, mushy feeling of
happiness, etc. Again, you cannot judge "real love" between two
people based on strong emotions alone.
Philos love is a love based
on "give-and-take", where two people benefit each other in a mutual
way. One partner is still concerned with what she/he can take, but at the same
time is also concerned with her/his partner's benefit and therefore gives back
in return.
Therefore, philos is a
higher type of love than eros. Philos love is a mutual, "give-and
take" relationship, while eros love is a self-based, form of love that is
more concerned with the "self" or self-benefit.
Like eros love, philos love
must develop into a higher form of love, the highest love of all -
"agape" or unconditional love.
3) Agape - unconditional
love
The third and highest type
of love is "agape", or unconditional love.
Agape love is above philos
love and eros love. It is a love that is totally selfless, where a person gives
out love to another person even if this act does not benefit her/him in any
way. Whether the love given is returned or not, the person continues to love
(even without any self-benefit).
Say, you help out a person,
even though that person hates you and curses you. Or you take insults from your
partner without hitting back, all the while forgiving and praying for your
partner to amend her/his ways. Or the famed "unconditional love" that
a mother has for her child.
Or the love we show our
parents, taking care of them and helping them in their old age. Just like they
took care of us when we were young, it is done with or without benefit in
return.
First Corinthians 13:4-8
provides a perfect description for agape : "Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not
self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does
not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always
trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
In essence, eros love is
"physical", philos love is "mental", and agape love is
"spiritual". Thus, it is made up of the three fundamental elements of
man: physical, mental and spiritual.
Friday, 9 August 2013
EnJOY. . . .the simple things.
So many times in our life we fail to enjoy the simple
things. All of the stress of our life,
our thoughts, our relationship issues, our work just keep piling up and we
become so bogged down that the things we really need to appreciate become
onerous tasks. I don’t know about you
but I do not like this feeling. After some particularly emotionally challenging
times in my life, I am totally ready right now to enjoy the simple things. I have been finding new meaning in cleaning
my house, cooking good clean food, spending quality time with my friends and
family, reading, journaling and appreciating beauty. In the technology age, it
is easy to become bombarded with social media, the internet, TV, etc. and we
become so over stimulated that we have a difficult time calming our inner self
and just ENJOYING. It is the
simplest things in life that can bring us the most JOY, eating a good meal, having
a great conversation with a friend, cuddling your pet, reading a book to a
child, a walk in nature, the list goes on and on (feel free to add your
own). Make the choice today to slow down,
take off your stress goggles, see things differently, appreciate all that you
have in your life and feel the JOY! xo Tracy
Tuesday, 6 August 2013
Projection
Psychological
projection was
conceptualized by Sigmund Freud in the 1890s as a defense
mechanism in which a person unconsciously
rejects his or her own unacceptable attributes by ascribing them to objects or
persons in the outside world. (Thanks Wikipedia)
While I am well
acquainted with this term from the books I have read and discussions I have had;
I don’t think I fully realized the depth to which it goes within us, the
difficulty in recognizing it and how we can sabotage our life by trying to deny
it. I have always found it easy to
recognize it in others, as these things always seem to be. Sometimes I have recognized it in myself, but
mostly on a superficial level. Recently
I was fortunate enough to be awakened to something that has been buried deep
inside of me for many years. I can see
so clearly now how this belief I had created about myself caused me so much
emotional pain over the years. Always
looking to something or someone outside of myself to ease that pain. It took me
a few days after the catalyst event to fully realize what had happened, but
when it did I felt like a weight had been lifted off me. The freedom, happiness and contentment I feel
as a result was worth every minute of what it took to get here. I wish I could
tell you how it finally happened but it really is just a culmination of a lot
of work I have done over the years on my own self development. Somehow all of this came together to show me
how I had projected my own “unacceptable attribute” onto someone else. I had been trying to sabotage this
relationship for years so that I would not have to face the pain of looking at
myself. Loving and accepting yourself
for all of your good and bad is probably every human beings greatest challenge,
but one that is so worth it! In hindsight (in my experience), one way to
determine if you are “projecting” onto someone else is when you have expectations,
are blaming or are very emotional about someone else’s behavior. Pay attention to your body and your reaction
to certain key words and phrases and to your own language. (I will be honest, for me the stronger my reaction the deeper it was buried, so be patient with yourself, please!) Write these down, then write down the things
that ‘drive you crazy” about someone else (quite often someone close to you). Spend some time looking at these lists and
contemplating how you might be putting your own “issues” onto someone else. In
my case it wasn’t that I shared the trait that I was struggling with in someone
else, it was my own guilt being reflected back to me.
Not only did this realization release me from my self created prison
but also released my loved one. If you are struggling with a relationship
issue, commitment to a practice or your work, try and identify what exactly the
underlying issue is. This may require
looking through some deep layers, and you need to be totally honest with
yourself! Quite often what you are
blaming on someone or something else has its root inside of you. This is actually great news, because as we
all know we can’t do anything about anyone else’s behavior only our own. By
acknowledging our role in the situation we take back our power and free
ourselves without expecting someone or something else to do it for us!! This is always a good thing! It’s been a
journey that’s for sure, but always so happy to experience these defining
moments that forever change us!! Learn,
grow and live!
Thursday, 1 August 2013
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