Control. . . . let it go!

“You can’t know what changes your life will bring or what the ultimate consequences will be.  Equanimity allows for the mystery of things: the unknowable, uncontrollable nature of things to be just as they are.  In this radical acceptance lies peace and freedom – right there in the midst of whatever pleasant or unpleasant circumstances we find ourselves in.  When we open to the truth that there is actually very little we can control other than our reactions to circumstances, we learn to let go!”
 

This morning during my quiet time I picked up an old journal and found the above words I had copied from an article a few years ago.  I definitely needed this reminder!

I have found one of the greatest sources of suffering for me is when I try and control my life. When I am trying to get together with a friend and it isn’t working out, or I want to go on a trip but my plans don’t seem to come together, or I want to complete a work project but I can’t seem to get the information I need.  These are the times I feel frustrated, disappointed and angry and quite often react negatively.  This negative obsessing does nothing for my happiness or peace of mind; it only causes me more grief.  I was telling my life coach about this one day and she suggested that every time I start to obsess, I should turn the negative thoughts into positive thoughts.  Interesting enough I found after the first week of doing this that I had stopped obsessing altogether.  It was easier not to obsess at all than it was to switch it to a positive!!  What does that tell you!! LOL.  Changing the negative thoughts to positive ones definitely did work (when I was able to do it) and created freedom from the “I should have said”, “I should have done”, “why didn’t I do this or say that”, “why couldn’t he/she have done this”, “next time I will do. . .”, thoughts that so often plague our minds during our obsessing and controlling.  But the real lasting peace and freedom comes in remaining neutral to all of our life experiences and our reactions need to reflect this.  Allowing what needs to happen to happen and what is to be. Take the actions that are necessary but remain open to the outcome.  In my experience the result has not always been what I had in my mind, but it has always worked out for the best. Sometimes I have not always been pleased by the results at the time but when I look back, it was the right thing for me.  (The Universe often knows better what is good for us than we do ourselves!) Obviously this morning I needed a reminder about this principle and it immediately affected my outlook on the day. I realized I had again been negatively obsessing and trying to control the outcomes, and as soon as I let it go I felt that wonderful feeling of peace and freedom that I remember well.  So give it a try! Change those negative obsessions into positive thoughts, give up the control, let go and see if you notice a difference in your well being and the way others relate to you. Do it for one day and see if you can turn that one day into one week or more.  Let me know how it goes!!