Are we all trying too hard? Why do we think we are never enough?

Is it just me or are we all just trying too hard?  Why is nothing ever enough, we want to be thinner or fitter, travel more, have more money, be more successful, have a deeper connection with our partner, be more spiritually enlightened, be a better daughter, wife, friend, mother . . . . challenging ourselves to be a better version is a good thing, but sometimes we get a little carried away.  Why can we not be content with things just the way they are? And with who we are? 

For me when I am feeling this way I find it helpful to get back to the simple things.  Finding joy in cooking a meal, reading a book, taking a walk, cleaning my house or grocery shopping seems to ground me.  Listening to music or sitting in quiet contemplation and just being in my body is also helpful.  One of the worst things we can do is judge ourselves, this is never helpful.  Judgement of self keeps us stuck in these destructive patterns of behaviour and I would challenge anyone who says they feel good when judging themselves.  Yes we need self discipline but that is very different from self judgement.  Self discipline with a compassionate understanding of ourself can bring many benefits and rewards, we feel empowered, a sense of accomplishment and encouraged. Self judgement does quite the opposite, we feel discouraged, useless, sad, mad and powerless. (Of course we often don't recognize this and then project it onto other people, but that is another whole topic!)

When we feel overwhelmed and are trying too hard we quite often say “I need to look after myself better”, this spurs us into action.  We book a massage, make a date with a friend, take a day off, go skiing, escape into a good book, etc.  These are all good things, but in the end the only way to truly take care of YOU, is to love and accept yourself EXACTLY as you are right NOW.  The irony of our humanness is that in our trying too hard we miss out on the simplicity and joy of just BEING. Believe me I know this is not easy, loving and accepting ourselves seems to be a life long challenge for most of us.  Seeing through all of our past conditioning can be a difficult process and the Universe seems to keep sending us things and people who remind us of that!  But it is worth it.  In the times that I have touched this deep love and acceptance of myself it has been nothing short of pure ecstasy.  While we may not be able to live in this place 100% of the time it is worth the discovery process to even get a glimpse.  So if only for a few minutes today, are you able to just sit and feel the deep unconditional love and acceptance for yourself? Go to your happy place, remember a moment in time when you felt immense joy, recall a situation when you felt really good about yourself or visualize a dream, whatever takes you from thinking to feeling.

The most important relationship you will ever have in your life is with yourself and the higher power that resides within and connects us all.  This is what is calling to you when you feel restless, unsettled and are trying too hard.  Keep seeking, keep asking and keep exploring but always with compassion, love and acceptance for YOU.
Much Love, Tracy