Your Shadow Side.

A couple of nights ago I had a vivid dream, in it I was standing on a deserted street, on one side was a “bad guy” and on the other was a policeman.  I was hesitant to proceed but felt safe with the policeman watching me.  As I got further down the street the “bad guy” began attacking me and the policeman had to step in.  I started running away and when I looked back the policeman was on the ground and the “bad guy” was chasing me.  When he caught up to me I pulled out a gun and shot him, not once, not twice but four times.  I didn't hesitate and it felt good each time I pulled the trigger.  The next morning I had a pretty good idea what the message of this dream was. I was struggling with my dark side and no longer feeling protected by the light.  A quick search on www.dreammoods.com confirmed my diagnosis, “to shoot a gun indicates aggressive feelings and hidden anger, if the person you shoot is a stranger, it indicates that you are rejecting unknown aspects of yourself that you do not understand”.  Armed with this information I knew I needed to do some work with my shadow side.  That night I pulled out Debbie Ford's book “Dark Side of the Light Chasers”, which deals with just this topic.  I used a technique she writes about to try and figure it out.  Here it is . . . Sit quietly, take a few deep breaths, close your eyes and relax.  Next visualize yourself getting onto a bus, the bus is filled with lots of people, all of these people are your sub-personalities or aspects of yourself.  Ask if someone wants to get off the bus with you.  A nice looking man dressed in a suit stepped forward and asked to talk to me.  When we got off the bus I asked him his name and he said Hungry Harry.  I asked what he wanted to talk about? He said “you have not been happy with me lately.  Why is that?”  I said “because Harry my voracious appetite for personal growth is causing me a lot of pain.”  I am having to let go of things in my life that are very difficult, if I could just stay the same it would make things easier”. But, he said “you would not have gotten to the place of self love that you are at, you would not feel as fulfilled as you are now and you would not have the level of faith and trust that you are experiencing, if you did not know me”.

The next morning I woke up feeling very very angry.  I took out a piece of paper and started writing what I was all angry about, all of the people, the situations, the circumstances, etc. As I continued to write I discovered the real reason for my dream and my anger, it was Hungry Harry.  I had been putting this anger onto others when I was really angry at myself, my personal growth was causing me to make changes in my life that were not pleasant. I needed to embrace this shadow side of myself to see that even though sometimes it may cause me pain, it also brings into my life much joy and fulfillment.  I decided I need to become better friends with Hungry Harry, besides he’s quite cute!  In that moment all of the anger was gone.  I was able to let go, trust, have faith and believe in ALL of myself once again.  As I need to I plan on getting back on that bus again and again to see who wants to share their story with me.  One of the single most important things I have done to feel whole is to get to know myself intimately.  I am always awed by the magnitude of who we are, what we have to offer and the complexities that make up our beautiful souls.  I've said it before and I will say it again, this work is not always easy but it is always WORTH IT!  Get on your bus today and get to know an aspect of yourself that is calling out to you and let it lead you to your bliss <3