Clear seeing or as I like to call it. . . .Clarity.

A few years ago a friend of mine and I were always searching for “clarity” we talked about how difficult it was and how we only seemed to get brief glimpses of it, him when he went for a run and me when walking in nature. Yoga and being in my physical body had been my introduction to this work, but I wanted something that would allow me to look deeper, into my mind and soul.  I decided to take a mindfulness meditation class and it was my first real view of what “clarity” looked and felt like.  It was definitely a life changing experience and changed me in ways I never would have expected.  Since that time I have fallen off the meditation wagon a few times, but thankfully when I do return I immediately start experiencing the benefits.  Even when I have fallen away from my practise as I look back I see that each time I come back I am wiser and feel it on a deeper level, so I don’t  judge myself or beat myself up about it, it all needed to unfold precisely as it has. I often say to people “you need to look at the situation exactly as it is, without emotion.  This will allow you to see it for what it truly is not what you want it to be.”  The only real lasting way I have found to do this is through meditation.  A regular practise of silence and quieting your mind can lead to such clarity, grounding and contentment you will wonder how you ever survived without it.  I know it is a difficult thing to do (believe me I have been there, trying to quiet my monkey mind!!), especially in today’s busy world, but I want you to know that it is worth it! 

There are many different meditation styles and philosophies, but whatever you chose it needs to work for you.  Trust your instinct, follow your heart, if an opportunity to try it is presented to you, go ahead and give it a go.  Start with 10 minutes daily of just sitting quietly in silence watching your thoughts, not attaching to them or letting them take you away to far off places, but just watching them.  A guided meditation is also a good beginning, Oprah and Deepak Chopra have a new free online one starting Nov 11^th, if that feels right for you give it a try www.chopracentermeditation.com (I have done all of the ones they have done before and they are great, I love them!).  The path you chose is less important than the practise itself and the benefits you receive.

All of the answers to the questions in your mind, What is my destiny? Am I doing the right work? Am I in the right relationship? What am I passionate about? are available to you through meditation.  No they won’t hit you like a lightening bolt while you are sitting in lotus position. . .  but they will become clear to you in a way you won’t expect. You will seem to “know” exactly what you need to do or not do and the Universe will conspire to give you all that you need and desire. Don’t believe me? There is only one way to find out, EXPERIENCE it for yourself.  I challenge you!!

Allow what needs to be.

 

As I continue on my journey of letting go, it always helps me to remember to have faith that all will unfold as it needs to and I should not stand in its way by hanging on to the past.

Allow, accept, believe and above all have faith.

 

You are not alone, with love, Tracy.

Letting Go . . . Revisited.

After my post on letting go, I received more repins of the quote I used than any other quote I have pinned (on Pinterest).  I subsequently posted another one –  

- which again had some of the most repins ever. It struck me that I am one of many people who struggle with letting go of what or whom does not serve us.  While I feel some comfort in knowing I am not alone, I find it sad that so many people are hanging onto things that hurt their heart and soul.

What is it that makes us do this? Is it the expectations of others? Of ourselves? Why and when did we create the belief that this is acceptable? Do we not feel worthy of happiness, peace and contentment?  There are so many questions and I know the answers are different for everyone, but the end result is the same.  If we do not find the answers for ourselves we will continue to struggle with “letting go”.  Maybe there is a clue in this quote:  

Accepting what was but not being attached to it will definitely lead the way. We need to appreciate the good that was in the relationship or situation and we need to acknowledge the bad, both in a factual unemotional way.  In my life I find this most difficult with the people and situations closest to me (as I would expect it is for most of you). So the method I have adopted to work with it is to change my thoughts. The thoughts in our mind create the feelings and emotions we have, so if we want to change these we first need to change our thoughts. When I find my mind obsessing about someone or something, first I acknowledge the overwhelming thoughts, I don’t judge them I just “see” that they are there.  Then I select thoughts of gratitude for the good in my life, thoughts of my faith in the Universe and that everything is as it should be and that all will work out as it should. Thoughts of how trying to “control” (or force as the quote above says) only causes me to suffer and thoughts of returning to that amazing feeling of peace and contentment.  On the days that I seem to be unable to do this, I let myself obsess while carefully watching and knowing that tomorrow will be a better day (and it always is).

I think the most important thing we all need to know about letting go, is that it is all up to us.  Every day, every minute we have a choice, if nothing else we have the choice to allow it to affect us or not.  The minute we give up our power to someone or something else we suffer. The minute we make the choice to change something in our lives, to no longer allow someone to treat us badly, or to LET GO of whatever hurts our heart and soul, then we have the freedom to pursue what does feed our heart and soul and opens up the space for the Universe to send it our way!

Update:  If you are struggling with letting go please read my new post "The Energy of Attraction" - November 6th, 2014.  My recent experience around letting go and releasing emotion was very powerful for me and may be of some help to you.  Whatever you are dealing with, I encourage you to keep seeking solutions because one day you will find the one that fits for you. . . and always remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE!  xo Tracy

Peace and Contentment

I wanted to share this story with you because I didn’t think it was possible, but one year later I have proven myself wrong!

In February of 2012 I was feeling overwhelmed with all that was going on in my life and I felt a calling to go to Hawaii and I knew I needed to go by myself.  So I booked a flight and arranged to stay at a yoga retreat in an isolated rain forest.  The whole experience was amazing (although sometimes challenging J), I spent a week by myself at the retreat and then my husband joined me for the second week at a resort on the sunny side of the island.  When I returned to regular life, I felt recharged, peaceful and content, with so much clarity.  Two months later I felt I was losing this wonderful feeling and by August it was only a faint memory (I had yet to learn how to recognize my needs and get them met in a healthy way).  When I first started working with my life coach a year ago I told her about my Hawaii experience and how I wanted to return to that feeling.  At the time I didn’t think it was possible to recreate it while living in my everyday life, I thought it was something that was only available on vacation. Well I am happy to tell you that one year later, I have found a way to get that peaceful feeling in my everyday life!  I am not saying that I feel like I am on vacation everyday, but there are pockets of time, days, and sometimes a whole week where I actually do have this same vacation feeling.  How did this happen? I am sure it has all been a process, one step at a time and many of you have been there with me along this journey so are familiar with it. Definitely embracing personal growth and learning to love and accept myself just as I am has been a huge contributing factor, but so have all of the self care rituals I have instituted.  We often think self care is selfishness but that is totally wrong, it is absolutely necessary to create the peace and balance we all need.  For me it was taking time every morning to enjoy a relaxed cup of coffee and a guided meditation.  It was being aware of when I needed time alone and then making sure I took that time to relax and recharge.  It was knowing when I needed to have some fun, enjoy a concert, dinner with friends, time with my children. It was starting a gratitude journal and making it a priority to write in it every day and it was above all else pursing my passion by sharing my experiences with all of you through this blog.

 
Give it a try yourself, find something you like to do when you are on vacation that you can implement into your daily routine.  Bring that fun, relaxation and peaceful feeling vacations provide into your everyday life, one small step at a time. . .  you can do it!

Success.

Living in a world that equates success with material possessions and status can often be difficult.  But I am going to say that in our final days on this earth none of that will matter and we will measure our life's success based on the words in this quote.  Love them, live them!

 

Letting Go.

We hear these words all the time. . . ."you need to let that go”, “its time to let go of him/her”.  We say these words all the time. . . .”I have let go of it”, ”I really want to let go of it/him/her”.  I’m sure we have all said it a FEW times!!  What “letting go” means may be different for each one of us, but for me I know it is not enough to just say it, I need to FEEL it!  In my personal experience I have usually said it hundreds of times before I get to the feeling part :), but only when I am finally able to feel it do I truly let it go. Is there something you are hanging on to right now? An event, a conversation, a situation, a person, a place, and have you said at least once that you have let it go, but really have not? If you answered yes then believe me you are not alone. So how can we all get to that place of truly letting go?  It may not be the same thing every time or for everyone but I can tell you a few things that work for me. As an eternal optimist I can easily glorify the person, event, situation, etc and see only the good things from it.  I know this is probably unusual as most people would be the opposite and focus only on the bad (which I do sometimes as well), but the repercussions are exactly the same.  We are not seeing it clearly for what it really is/was.  I need to work at very clearly examining the facts, this means giving equal thinking time to both the good and bad.  How did it serve me and how did it not serve me? Have I learned what I needed to learn from it? Am I better or worse because of it?  Why am I hanging on? Again I can not emphasize enough that you need to do this in a non-emotional factual way and be honest with yourself.  Write it down if you need to; make a pros and cons or negative/positive list, sometimes seeing it written down helps.  It’s all about changing your mindset. The other thing that works for me is to see the person (if there is one involved) face to face.  I find it important to feel their energy, even if the conversation is not about the event, situation, etc. Just being in their presence, feeling their energy can often trigger something for me.  Mostly I am able to see that I have created a totally different story in my head than this person has and it gives me perspective. The other way I have been able to let go is when I have reached a threshold of stress or anxiety. I’m sorry to have to tell you this but the saying, “it is darkest before the dawn” sometimes needs to happen before we can truly let go of certain things.  What I can happily tell you, is that in every case (sometimes it has taken me a long time) when I have finally been able to FEEL the letting go, it has always been lasting and the best thing for me.  It brings with it a deep feeling of peace and contentment and opens up the space for other good things to come into my life. Who wouldn’t want a little more peace, contentment and good things in their life?  I DO!