Emotions

After my experience this week around anger and then helping a friend through a tough emotional day, I realized what a gift our emotions can be for us.  If we can learn the art of not reacting to them and instead accept, allow and learn from them we can make great progress on our quest for peace and contentment in our life. 

Our usual first reaction to our emotions, at least mine is, is to immediately want to know WHY?  But to me it’s kind of like when you are trying really hard to remember something and it just won’t come to you but 5 hours later it pops into your head when you aren’t even thinking about it.  The harder we try to figure out the why of our emotions the more elusive it can be. A better approach and one that has worked for me, is more of curiosity and watchfulness. Start by feeling the emotion arising in your body, sometimes it is a pit in your stomach, a tightness in your throat, a hair raising,  blood pressure rising or a crushing feeling in your chest.  Whatever it is for you, when you feel that feeling can you identify the emotion that is associated with it?  If you can, name it.  Say “I am angry, I am hurt, I am sad, I am happy, I am joyful, etc.”  Then allow the emotion, feel it in your body, don’t judge it, don’t look for a solution to it and above all don’t push it down and try and hide it.  The danger is not in the emotion occurring, the danger is the suppression because that is when it comes out in an inappropriate way!  I have found that as soon as I allow the emotion it begins to lose a little of its control over me, this is the moment to accept it as it is.  When the feeling has subsided and you have time for a little contemplation, you can begin to look deeper. Journal, talk to a safe friend or coach, draw, create, meditate, go for a walk, whatever method you have for looking inside yourself.  As we learn to work with our emotions they begin to teach us about our patterns and our triggers and lead to more fulfilling relationships with ourselves and others.