The Dark Side.

“I would rather be whole than good”  I wrote this in my journal a few years ago while I was reading the Debbie Ford book “Dark Side of the Light Chasers”.  Since then I have been very aware of the fact that we all need to accept both the good and bad sides of ourselves for us to be whole.  It seems the more we try and hide the dark side the worse it becomes. Just like anything in life, the more we try and fight it the harder it is.  Ask anyone who has dieted, worked out or studied!! So if you keep trying to hide and deny your shadows you will only see them reappear again and again (and also be mirrored back to you in others). So how do we change this?  The first step is awareness, finding and acknowledging what we “don’t like about ourselves”, and then  shining a light on it so we can see that it has actually been a positive thing in our lives.  For me when I went through this exercise the first time I could see that I did not like how I was so sceptical (I considered this a negative trait).  But when I took a closer look the reality was that many times this scepticism had protected me.  I was then able to see this trait as helpful and no longer needed to pretend to be accepting of everything, that it was okay to question and probe in certain circumstances. I also struggled with being opinionated. When I saw that this was because I am passionate, interested and enthusiastic I learned to love and accept it about myself. I was then able to share my opinions in a positive way and accept others views with more understanding.  This has enabled me to create very deep meaningful friendships in my life which are very valuable to me. 

I’m not sure if it is just in my life, but it seems everywhere I turn these days, Pinterest, Facebook, blogs, TV shows and movies, books, speakers, TED talks, etc. what everyone is drawn to is authenticity!  We want it in our politicians, our leaders, our clients, our celebrities, and most importantly our friends and people close to us. I think this is a sign of our changing times.  The connections we make with others is what makes life full, enjoyable and brings us happiness. These connections become so much more meaningful when we are being our authentic selves and sharing our beautiful spirit with others. If we want authentic connections in our life we must first cultivate this trait in ourselves.  To do this we must acknowledge, accept and understand all of the good and the bad that make up the beautiful spirit that is inside all of us. Today give some thought to your dark side, shine some light on to it and see that it is not a monster living in the closet it is part of the beautiful person that you are.  Become whole, become authentic, become REAL and believe me not only will your own life become richer but you will grace the lives of others with your spirit.  Fall in love with your imperfections!!