Words I needed to remind myself of today . . .

Let go of expectations

 

Things will play out as they need to

 

Focus on yourself and what you can do

 

Allow life to unfold

 

Stay true to yourself

 

Always have the right intention -

 

From the love in your heart

 

 

xo Tracy

Natural Disaster

  (Our backyard.)

There is nothing like a natural disaster to make you appreciate your family, friends, community and your life!! This past weekend the city I live in was flooded by river water caused from melting snow in the nearby mountains and heavy rain.  Unfortunately my family lives very close to one of the main rivers and we were forced to evacuate our house. I have to say having to leave your home is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but fearing for our safety was a much higher priority. At the end of it all when the water had receded and we were allowed back in, the damage was less than we had expected (only our basement was flooded and we had managed to move all of our belongings up or out) and we feel very lucky compared to others who have had a total loss of their home and their belongings.  Following the devastation, it has been amazing to see the community spirit that brings people together.  Strangers brought food to our house and came to our door asking if they could help in any way.  All of our family and friends were calling, texting, emailing and face booking offers of help and words of encouragement. It was these acts of kindness that kept us motivated to complete the clean up.  The clean up of the city continues with thousands of volunteers assisting anyway they can.  Of course there are also the opportunists who have increased prices on “in demand items” like bottled water, pumping services, garbage removal, etc. It has been nice to see that via Twitter and Facebook these people and companies are very quickly shut down or shamed into line, ah the magic of social media! Social media was also used extensively to communicate what was happening in the city and kept everyone calm and reassured and aware of where they could or could not go. . . .very well done!!

 As life returns to some sense of normalcy, it is interesting to me how strong the human spirit is.  We need to remember to be kind to ourselves and appreciate that wonderful spirit. My hope is that everyone who experiences that touch of grace that occurs when some one helps you when you need it most will remember that feeling and pay it forward. Let that spirit soar!

Choices

Everyday we make hundreds of choices, when to get out of bed, what to eat for lunch, what TV show to watch, go to the gym or not, call a friend or not, etc. We also make choices about what we say and what we think.  Sometimes it can feel like we don’t have a choice, but we always do.  One of the most important choices we make is what we think about.  Our thoughts affect our lives more than we know and can be the source of much happiness or much sadness. The human mind tends to focus on the negative, this is a scientific fact, so changing our thinking to a positive will require some work but will be worth it. If like in the quote above we always chose the positive qualities to think about, talk about and act out we will create the life that we all want and dream about. Change your thoughts and you will change your life!  Don’t give away your power to someone else, don’t let their behaviour or their words become your inner voice.  Your inner self knows what is best for you, pay attention, listen to your heart for only you have the answers, you can choose the good or you can choose the bad.  Notice how you feel when you choose to wallow in self pity (the bad) versus how you feel when you take charge of your life or accomplish a goal (the good).  If this isn’t proof enough for you as to the direction we all need to go, then I don’t know what is!! Don’t we all want to feel good, happy, full of love to give?  Of course we do because that is our basic nature (once we take all the crap off of it!! LOL). What choice can you make right now, in this minute, as you read this, to improve the quality of your life and your happiness? Go ahead do it. Then tomorrow make one more choice that will improve your life and so on and so on. Great things are only accomplished one step at a time. Its your choice to make!

 

(Today I am making the choice to find meaning and joy in my work and appreciate what it gives me)

 

- Post your choice, it will be easier to stick to if you write it down and will support and inspire yourself and others.

Dreams

This week I had lunch with a friend who finally took the first step in pursing one of his big dreams.  I was so happy for him and it is unbelievable how everything else is falling into place so he can fully realize this dream.  I love this, its what I live for!  He has wanted to move out of the city to a rural area for at least the past two years (maybe longer), but had been waiting for his investments to improve.  I suggested he should take at least one step to further his dream by visiting the area he wants to move to and seeing if it is still what he wants.  He did this, looked at some property, fell in love with a place and is working on securing a job so he can move there now, even without his investments paying off.  This is what its all about!! 

 

I do know from my own experience that as we get older it is sometimes hard to even know what our dreams are.  We become so focussed on the day to day, barely being able to think about tomorrow. Dreaming is a skill, learned by looking into ourselves to find the things we love. By having the courage to say “I deserve this”.  Dreams do not have to be realistic (that’s why they are called dreams), just the activity of dreaming alone can be  uplifting and fun.  Have you ever woken up from a particularly good dream feeling great?  It’s like watching a good movie and getting lost in the story.  Getting lost in your own story’s and dreams can do the same thing.  When I first started pondering my dreams, I couldn’t believe how difficult it was.  I was stuck in the dreams of reality.  When I was finally able to let my mind go and fill up with all kinds of dreams that’s where the real magic was.  It brought out that child like wonder in me, the “what if”.  Soon I had a whole list of dreams; to be a singer, to be a dancer, to be a motivational singer, to be an Anthropologist.  I might never be these things, but I do sing in my car, I dance at the club, I give my children pep talks and I have endless discussions with my friends on human behaviour.  I am living my dreams, its all in your perception!  Start dreaming today or take one small step towards fulfilling a dream . . .you are worth it! Karaoke anyone??!!

Control. . . . let it go!

“You can’t know what changes your life will bring or what the ultimate consequences will be.  Equanimity allows for the mystery of things: the unknowable, uncontrollable nature of things to be just as they are.  In this radical acceptance lies peace and freedom – right there in the midst of whatever pleasant or unpleasant circumstances we find ourselves in.  When we open to the truth that there is actually very little we can control other than our reactions to circumstances, we learn to let go!”
 

This morning during my quiet time I picked up an old journal and found the above words I had copied from an article a few years ago.  I definitely needed this reminder!

I have found one of the greatest sources of suffering for me is when I try and control my life. When I am trying to get together with a friend and it isn’t working out, or I want to go on a trip but my plans don’t seem to come together, or I want to complete a work project but I can’t seem to get the information I need.  These are the times I feel frustrated, disappointed and angry and quite often react negatively.  This negative obsessing does nothing for my happiness or peace of mind; it only causes me more grief.  I was telling my life coach about this one day and she suggested that every time I start to obsess, I should turn the negative thoughts into positive thoughts.  Interesting enough I found after the first week of doing this that I had stopped obsessing altogether.  It was easier not to obsess at all than it was to switch it to a positive!!  What does that tell you!! LOL.  Changing the negative thoughts to positive ones definitely did work (when I was able to do it) and created freedom from the “I should have said”, “I should have done”, “why didn’t I do this or say that”, “why couldn’t he/she have done this”, “next time I will do. . .”, thoughts that so often plague our minds during our obsessing and controlling.  But the real lasting peace and freedom comes in remaining neutral to all of our life experiences and our reactions need to reflect this.  Allowing what needs to happen to happen and what is to be. Take the actions that are necessary but remain open to the outcome.  In my experience the result has not always been what I had in my mind, but it has always worked out for the best. Sometimes I have not always been pleased by the results at the time but when I look back, it was the right thing for me.  (The Universe often knows better what is good for us than we do ourselves!) Obviously this morning I needed a reminder about this principle and it immediately affected my outlook on the day. I realized I had again been negatively obsessing and trying to control the outcomes, and as soon as I let it go I felt that wonderful feeling of peace and freedom that I remember well.  So give it a try! Change those negative obsessions into positive thoughts, give up the control, let go and see if you notice a difference in your well being and the way others relate to you. Do it for one day and see if you can turn that one day into one week or more.  Let me know how it goes!!

Why do we allow what others do or say to affect how we feel?

This week a friend sent me this quote. How many of you have ever considered this and do you think there is any truth to it?  I find myself quite aware of it in other people, so when I am blaming someone or mad at them for some reason I try to figure out what it is about for me, but it isn’t always easy.  Some times it’s easier to blame than to look deep within oneself. I remember complaining to a friend years ago that my husband didn’t value my contribution to the family.  She said to me are you sure that you value your own contribution?  At the time of course I thought I did, but years later looking back I’m going to say no I did not.  I have found that quite often when I have allowed other peoples words or actions to affect how I feel; it is because of my own insecurities.  One strategy that has worked for me is realizing that everyone is on their own path in this life and we are all doing the best we can with what we know at the time.  For the most part, people aren’t out to “get you” (with some exceptions).  They are simply going about their own life doing what they need to do and say for themselves.  So why would we take anything they did or said personally?  Can we have compassion for them without making it about us? Can we listen with an unbiased heart? Or at the very least can we just let it go? In those times when it has worked for me (still a work in progress), I have found great freedom in not being affected by others words or actions. If we could all be successful at this, it would allow each of us to keep our own personal power which is an important component of building good self esteem.  Take some time this week to pay attention to the words and actions of others that have a deep impact on you, both good and bad.  Is there something about yourself that needs to be healed? Needs to be opened up? We can learn a lot about ourselves by our reactions and only in this awareness will we be able to change it.  I would love to have your feedback on this always interesting topic.  Send me some comments!!

A rainy day . . .

Sometimes it is hard to remember this when we are in our darkest days. . . . but it will be sunny again soon!! Hope, Faith and Love.