All I can say is WOW!
This past week I experienced an example of the energy of attraction both
negative and positive that was so profound it left me speechless (well not
really because I am never at a loss for words, but you get the picture!)
It began early last week when I was triggered by a situation
that arose in my life. I was aware
enough to know that I was reacting, but unable to stop it and very quickly it escalated into a full blown ego episode (fortunately mainly in my own mind and
some venting to my Mom). I then received
a second trigger regarding a totally different situation but with the same result . . .
the energy of negative attraction was in full swing. By the weekend I
knew I was in trouble, my mind chatter was non stop; I had resorted to
isolating myself and trying to numb my mind with various distractions. None of this was working. Sunday morning I awoke with a small amount of
clarity and was thankfully able to recognize the fear that was underlying all
of my emotion. This awareness gave me a
small amount of peace, but obviously this is a deep seated issue that I have
been hanging onto for a LONG time.
Monday was the peak of this emotional fear based cycle (that’s what I am
now going to call it for my own reference!).
This was my worst day! I was
unable to work, unable to meditate; walking in nature didn't even help (which just
about always does!). I was
suffering! I have to admit that as someone
who has done a lot of personal growth work I was once again humbled by the
power of my ego (in this case also known as fear). It started to crack Monday night when it came
to me that much of my suffering was because I was fighting against what I
perceived to be the negative emotions of anger, fear, jealously and
competitiveness. I suddenly remembered
my teachings on dealing with your shadow and how you need to lean into the pain
caused by trying to deny your “dark side”.
Thankfully I was home alone and able to shout: “okay already, I get it, I am ANGRY, I am
SCARED, I am JEALOUS, I am COMPETITIVE”.
Once I acknowledged these emotions, I was able to allow them with compassion,
but the next day I was still not out of the woods as I now felt a deep sadness. Fortunately I was able to share my feelings
with someone, he empathized with me having felt many of the same emotions
himself, and this helped me to realize we are all suffering together, we are
not alone. By Tuesday night I was
feeling a deep sense of peace and knew I had recovered once again.
Part Two - The full realization of what I had just
experienced became crystal clear to me the next morning when I randomly opened
up the book “The Untethered Soul” to the chapter “Let Go Now or Fall”. Michael
Singer described word for word, step by step exactly what had happened to me in
the past week and he offered a way out.
I would like to share it with you with the hope that one day it may help
you as well. In this chapter he talks
about fear being the underlying cause of all negative emotion (particularly
anger, jealousy, etc.). He says “you can do two things with fear: you can
recognize that you have it and work to release it, or you can keep it and try
to hide from it.” For most of us when we are triggered by something or someone
in our life, it activates this fear and we immediately go into protection mode
to try and hide it. We try and control
our outer and inner circumstances in order to not feel the pain from this
fear. He goes on to say that in your
attempts to protect yourself from your problems you create more problems as
negative energy attracts more negative energy.
You begin to feel heavy, like the world is out to get you and you are
fighting against life (man could I relate to this, I think I actually said
those exact words out loud). All of this
was making so much sense to me, but when he explained that if you do not
release this negative energy created from your fears immediately when
you are hit (triggered) then it will be VERY difficult to release it
later. I could see so clearly how this
had happened to me, I lost my connection with my true self and became lost in
the unconsciousness of fear and misery.
Then the magnetic forces of the law of attraction kicked in in full
force to continue the cycle. Fortunately
I did not act out any of the scenarios that had played over and over in my
mind. This is how people say things that
hurt others and wreck relationships because now they have affected another person’s
energy with their own negativity.
Wow! Wow! Can you see how this affects the whole
world?! Are we responsible for
perpetuating this negative energy? And if so, what can we do to stop this
cycle?
LET IT GO! Let it go immediately. You know you are triggered when you
react, when you blame, when you no longer are taking responsibility for your
actions or words, when you find yourself saying too many negative things, when
you become obsessed with a person or a situation, when your mind chatter is
affecting your life, the list goes on and on. Yes you say, I know exactly what
you mean Tracy
but what can I do? The minute you are
aware that you have been triggered (usually a physical feeling of tightness in
your body around your heart, stomach or throat), acknowledge it, take a deep
breath and let it move through you.
Release the negative energy deep inside of you, visualize it moving
through your body and dissipating, feel openness in your heart. This is going to be very difficult if you
leave it or have left it for a long time, but you need to persevere. Here is the flip side to the story. . . The
minute I became aware of this fear based energy blockage and released it, I was
back in the flow of life. Phew! This shift into positive energy not only
brought me back to the most glorious peaceful feeling (like when the sun comes
out after a rainy day) but also realigned my energy in the universe and
attracted all positive things, including peaceful resolution of the two
situations that had triggered me.
This brings me to Part Three of my story, this morning as I
sat in meditation with Deepak Chopra’s Energy of Attraction series, he was
talking about creating an intention for what you desire, it struck me that I
had done this a couple of months ago, my intention was: “To have an open heart”. Another Wow!
If I had not had this past weeks experience I never would have fully understood
what an open heart meant and or felt like.
Once again I am humbled by these teachings and by the power of intention
and attraction, but most of all by the divine teacher (my soul) within. There is nothing that brings me more sadness
then seeing my fellow humans suffering with emotional pain brought on by
fear. Watching people struggle against
it with defensiveness, deflection, anger, insecurity, self abuse or worse,
makes me want to reach out to them. But
I needed to understand it myself in order to be genuine in my empathy, and that
makes me eternally grateful for this experience. What ever doesn’t kill you makes you
stronger! We are all in this together.
In closing I want to share these words directly from Michael
A Singer’s book “The Untethered Soul” because I think they are important for
all of us to contemplate.
In speaking about our reactions to our negative energy
blocks he says:
“We all know that we’re doing this, but nobody questions
it. We think we’re supposed to figure
out how life should be, and then make it that way. Only someone who looks deeper, and questions
why we need the events of life to be a particular way, will question this
assumption. How did we come up with the
notion that life is not okay just the way it is, or that it won’t be okay the
way it will be? Who said that the way
life naturally unfolds is not all right?
The answer is, fear says so.”
Figure this out and you will forever be in the natural flow
of life and that is a very blissful place to be. Good luck my fellow travelers on this path,
I travel with you in heartfelt gladness and love. It is not always easy but it is worth it!
