Sharing our Gifts.

This past weekend I attended a Buddhist meditation retreat on Dream Yoga it was amazing! I had not sat with a teacher for a few years and it was great to receive the wisdom and teachings.  I will admit I went into it a little hesitantly as I had not sat and I mean literally "sat" (you sit for long periods of time in Buddhist meditation practice) for quite awhile.  I am happy to report that I had no problems at all with 9 hours (total, not in a row) of "sitting". All of my trepidation was dispensed when Geshe YongDong began teaching, I was so fascinated and eager to practice I forgot about my physical body pain. (Although I did indulge in nightly epsom salt baths!!) 

By the end of the weekend I was fully aware of why I attended this retreat and had definitely received what was meant for me.  So grateful for this!  I am sure you will all receive my interpretation of these teachings through my blog posts as time goes on, but I did want to share one thing that struck me about the retreat.  It became obvious during the discussion time that each participant was at a different point on their spiritual journey (which I also call my life journey as I feel it is one and the same).  It was interesting how one person would ask a question and when the Geshe did not fully understand it another person would try and "interpret" it for him in a different way hoping it would assist him.  Because of this process I believe everyone was able to squeeze just a little more out of the teachings.  It also made me realize that the wisdom and knowledge that I have is very valuable as is the wisdom and knowledge of everyone.  We never know when our way of saying something will resonate with another and help them on their life journey.  I have always been a believer that everyone needs to find their own way to fulfillment, but I also know that we each have a unique way in which we say/view/see/understand things.  Many times the Geshe would say "this is how I see it, or this is how I understand it, maybe that works for you, maybe it doesn't" but the fact was that he was sharing it and I appreciated that and got from it what I needed (based on the point that I am at).  Speaking my truth and uncovering my authentic self has been a journey for me and is a big reason why I started this blog.  I have definitely come a long way which I am grateful for and happy that this weekend reinforced to me why I need to continue on this journey.  I am using my gift as a writer to share my experiences with you, maybe you will find them helpful or maybe you won't. Maybe you will re read different posts and find new meaning in them or maybe you won't. Either way you are here and present which means you are on the path and interested,  which I so appreciate and honor. With that in mind, if at any time you would like to ask me a question or run something by me that you are struggling with, I will do my best to share with you what I know (email tracyswisdomtree@gmail.com). Maybe it will help you and maybe it won't, no attachment :).  

Thanks for the teaching Geshe YongDong! 

Visit Geshe YongDong’s Tibetan Bon Buddhist Centre’s website at: www.sherabchammaling.com

Thanks to Yoga MCC for hosting this event.

www.yogamcc.com

Lesson learned!

This past week I was faced with a challenging situation that caused me to react and want to strike back.  Fortunately my body awareness alerted me to this when I felt a gripping sensation in my belly.  I was also able to discuss it with a friend who let me vent and offered me some good wisdom.  In my reactive state I said "I feel that she does not value my integrity" to which my friend replied "no Tracy its not YOUR integrity that she doesn't value, she doesn't value INTEGRITY at all". Wow thanks!  This allowed me to not take the matter personally, it also allowed me to see that I had a choice as to whether or not I wanted to do business with someone who did not value integrity. It was then up to me to decide if I wished to continue a business relationship that did not align with my values.  I was able to make this decision not out of anger and frustration but from a choice I made a few years ago to only do business with people who valued my services, paid a fair price for them and that I liked as a person. I know that if I had made the decision in my anger state I would have beat myself up about it later.  I would have thought I could have said something differently, or been more accommodating and on and on.  Because I was able to take a step back and figure it out I was able to respond (not react) with an appropriate action.  I also realized that in the past when I had been too accommodating and then faced my own wrath, it was because I was trying to "force" the outcome by having the other person see it my way.  Then when they did not I would feel as if I had done something wrong.  Crazy!  Oh the stories we tell ourselves!!  So thankful for this lesson and all of my lessons. . . .just wanted to share :)            

Heart Thinking

Most spiritual traditions teach about the duality of the human condition, the reality that you are not your thinking mind, and that the real or authentic you resides in your heart.  Every day along my own spiritual journey I become more and more aware of this reality.  As I learn to quiet my mind in meditation and listen to my heart I become more at peace and less likely to get caught up in my emotions, so I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on the whole listening to my heart thing.  I have had many experiences that have shown me that my happiness is dependent on me following my heart not my mind. However, I continue to have challenges quieting my mind and stopping the obsessive thinking in my everyday life. The other day when I became very aware of this fact I thought wouldn't it be great if all of our "thoughts" could come from our heart instead of our mind.  I don't mean the intuitive answers that come as a result of our meditation practise or other forms of surrender, I mean our every day thoughts.  We all know and the psychological research will prove that our minds obsessive thoughts are mostly negative, but the thoughts that come from our hearts are positive.  If this was possible we could change the "mind thoughts" from "your not enough, you need to work harder, they don't like you, your not good looking enough, your not smart enough, to the "heart thoughts" of "you are fabulous just the way you are, you are loved, you will always be happy, you are successful, you are gorgeous, you have so many gifts to offer". Wouldn't it be a wonderful world if everyone "thought" with their heart instead of their mind? Now I know this is a lofty goal, and some people will call me a Polly Anna, an idealist, a crackpot or even crazy, and that's okay.  I know that no real change or growth has ever come from staying and/or "thinking" inside the box.  The limits need to be pushed, and I am always happy to push them. Are you? Would you be willing to commit to a regular meditation practise? Or take daily walks in nature? What about sitting in a beautiful garden for 30 minutes a day? Or maybe practise Yoga or Tai Chi? How about using your creative ability to paint, draw, sing, play, write?  All of these things lead to connecting with your heart with your true self.  They also lead to a feeling of connection with the rest of humanity and that says to me that if we change our own behaviour we are actually changing the world. So if you are a little bit crazy like me and want to do your part to contribute to change lets all give it a go!  The Heart Thinking Movement is born!

 

**I wrote this post last night and this morning I happened upon this teaching from the Dalai Lama and thought it was fitting to share on this post**

 

"Changes in the world come from individuals, from the inner peace in individual hearts.  Just as ripples spread out when a single pebble is dropped into water, the actions of individuals can have far-reaching effects"

Mindfulness – Tracy Style

It has been 6 years since I took my first Mindfulness Meditation course and I am finally starting to understand what “mindfulness” really is.  It goes to show you how every step along this journey of life is really just a stepping stone to the next one!  All of the information that I have gathered over the years has finally settled into my body and mind and allowed me to feel it on a deeper level.  I am so grateful for every teacher I have had along the way.  I wanted to share this experience with you for many reasons but not the least of which is – don’t give up!  Keep at it, keep reading, keep researching, keep listening and keep doing.  You never know when it will settle into YOUR heart and that moment could be just around the corner.  

                                                           Here is my story . . .

When I first started practicing mindfulness meditation we were taught to watch our thoughts, pay attention to our breath and scan our body.  As a newbie I did all of this and felt quite competent at it, little did I know at the time that I was doing all of this from an intellectual viewpoint (from my head).  The next step during our “training” was to be mindful of everyday experiences, ie. mindfully brushing our teeth, mindfully eating our food, mindfully washing the dishes, etc.  Again I did all of this and again I felt quite competent (I am an overachiever!).  I continued my practice and watched my thoughts, I started labeling them and did end up learning a lot of things about myself and my belief’s and was able to make changes that brought me much happiness.  Over the next few years, my meditation practice came and went, but I continued to be interested and continued to study; reading, doing yoga, discussing and reflecting.  I look back on this part of my life and see that I was kind of coasting, enjoying my new found happiness and allowing it to settle in.  But as is always the case during these “transition” phases of the journey eventually the newness wears off and we need to proceed to the next phase.  I  was in a bit of denial about moving on, I was having a good time, pushing the limits, living life to the fullest, but something was missing and I knew that at the deepest part of myself. With some help from my coach I came back to the practices that I knew would bring me the peace and answers I was seeking.  I began a regular meditation practice again, but this time it felt different.  This time I wasn't doing it from an intellectual place; I was doing it from my heart.  I had learned the proper techniques, now it was time to put them into action for a different reason.  Very quickly I began to see many benefits, clearer thinking, deep listening, peaceful, grounded and much less likely to get caught up in my emotions.  After six months of strict regular practice all of my experience was put to the test as I faced the end of my 25 year marriage and all of the decisions that needed to be made around that as well as many decisions relating to changes in my business. Through all of this I managed to maintain the same clear thinking, the deep listening and the peaceful grounded feeling.  I started to see that being “mindful” was really about being “aware”, being the silent observer of my life and myself.  As each challenge was thrown at me I became an observer of my emotions.  I watched my reactions, I watched how it felt in my body, I didn't judge it, I didn't try and analyze it, I just allowed it.  And when it passed over (as it always does) the decisions and answers became easy – it was the path of least resistance.  This doesn't mean that I didn't have moments of frustration, sadness, anger and fear, I absolutely did!  But I did not allow them to take over, by seeing and acknowledging that I had a right to all of these feelings and by knowing that they would pass, I was able to accept them on a level I had not been able to in the past.  Going through something very difficult or stressful is often what pushes us to surrender.  I could succumb to the overwhelming emotions or I could surrender to “myself” to the present moment, to what I knew deep inside.  I had learned to trust the knowingness of my soul and I knew that everything would work itself out just the way it needed to.  This experience is open to every one; you just need to open up to it.  Open your mind, open your heart, be mindful, watch for opportunities and then make a choice.  Choose you, choose what best serves you and the higher good, and choose what feels right deep in your heart.  Bringing peace into your own heart brings peace into the world. Together we can make a difference. . . . one “mindful” peaceful heart at a time!